Monday, March 29, 2004
forget ragga breaks, here's ragga waits
I saw Tom Waits in Amoeba SF this weekend. At first I wasn't sure if it was him, because, you know, he sort of looked like a bum who'd been given a free shower and some Marin yippie hand-me-down clothes that were five sizes too big. Plus, he's got red hair, and his face looked kind of doughy and nondescript -- you expect that face to be lean and leaping out at you.
But here's the weirdest thing. You'll never guess which section of the store he was shopping in. The used reggae section.
I kid you not. That next record of his is going to be super crazy. Maybe he'll do a reggae album like Serge Gainsbourg did in 1979. I want to hear him cover "Hey Bartender." Or "My Boy Lollipop."
What else? Oh yeah, I now know what elephant piss tastes like. Or at least I think I do.
A few weeks ago, we went to Sacramento for some thrift shopping. On the way, we stopped at a 99 cent store. They had all sorts of bizarre products that never quite made the grade: energy drinks especially for Silicon Valley workers, Vietnamese coffee drinks called Hello Boss, and Ultra Red Korean Ginseng soda. I bought the latter, thinking that six-year-old ginseng should pack more of a wallop than Red Bull, for sure.
Wrong. Or at least I never got to find out how much of an energy wallop Ultra Red gives, because the flavor was so repellent. I had one sip and nearly screamed in pain. That's how hideous it was. I can only imagine that a fat man's sweat socks might taste like this, after he's run a marathon.
Naturally, I had another drink. I thought that, like Red Bull, it might be an acquired taste. The only thing I acquired was an aftertaste that lasted for the next four hours. I immediately poured the whole can down the drain.
But that wasn't the end of it. Like some kind of horrible curse, the stench of the liquid lived on. The smell wafted down the hall and into my room, and could be smelled there for hours. And two days later, I was nearly knocked over by the odor when I turned on the garbage disposal. I'm frightened of what it would've done to my stomach if I'd drunk the whole thing!
One last thing: Has anyone tried this new, legal drug salvia divinorum? Apparently, it comes from the herb sage, and rock stars Andrew WK and Will Oldham say it delivers a life-altering experience. They claim it makes you see the world from the perspective of a rock. Andrew is rumored to be writing his next album from this vantage point, a fact that probably won't amuse his fans -- or Budweiser.
But here's the weirdest thing. You'll never guess which section of the store he was shopping in. The used reggae section.
I kid you not. That next record of his is going to be super crazy. Maybe he'll do a reggae album like Serge Gainsbourg did in 1979. I want to hear him cover "Hey Bartender." Or "My Boy Lollipop."
What else? Oh yeah, I now know what elephant piss tastes like. Or at least I think I do.
A few weeks ago, we went to Sacramento for some thrift shopping. On the way, we stopped at a 99 cent store. They had all sorts of bizarre products that never quite made the grade: energy drinks especially for Silicon Valley workers, Vietnamese coffee drinks called Hello Boss, and Ultra Red Korean Ginseng soda. I bought the latter, thinking that six-year-old ginseng should pack more of a wallop than Red Bull, for sure.
Wrong. Or at least I never got to find out how much of an energy wallop Ultra Red gives, because the flavor was so repellent. I had one sip and nearly screamed in pain. That's how hideous it was. I can only imagine that a fat man's sweat socks might taste like this, after he's run a marathon.
Naturally, I had another drink. I thought that, like Red Bull, it might be an acquired taste. The only thing I acquired was an aftertaste that lasted for the next four hours. I immediately poured the whole can down the drain.
But that wasn't the end of it. Like some kind of horrible curse, the stench of the liquid lived on. The smell wafted down the hall and into my room, and could be smelled there for hours. And two days later, I was nearly knocked over by the odor when I turned on the garbage disposal. I'm frightened of what it would've done to my stomach if I'd drunk the whole thing!
One last thing: Has anyone tried this new, legal drug salvia divinorum? Apparently, it comes from the herb sage, and rock stars Andrew WK and Will Oldham say it delivers a life-altering experience. They claim it makes you see the world from the perspective of a rock. Andrew is rumored to be writing his next album from this vantage point, a fact that probably won't amuse his fans -- or Budweiser.
