Thursday, January 22, 2004
Heaaaaaaraghhghgrr's Howard!
Everyone's making such a big deal about Howard Dean's gutteral yee-haw after the Iowa Caucus. Personally, hearing him let fly with a "yeeerrrrgghhhh!" makes me like him even more. He's got spunk -- plus he showed he can name a lot of the United States, which is probably more than you can say for Prez Dumbya. Come on, so far we've elected a wrestler and a weight lifter as governors -- Dean's just tapped into our inner strongman fixation. And even Ahnold hasn't been remixed -- yet.
You've got something in your eye
Hey, most SanFransexuals like a good facial, right?
(Wait, you say, what's a SanFransexual? Kristina coined the term, because she says Metrosexuals are just too fashion- and haircare-conscious. SFsexuals are guys who will put on nail polish to go out dancing but won't spend an hour worrying their hair; they'll wear dresses to bars, but they'll also fix your flat tire; they'll tell you what they're feeling, but they'll also bend you over a sawhorse.)
Anyhoo, back to my point: facials. They're degrading and kinky and, um, artistic. Or at least they are now. Ashkan Sahihi, the guy who did those pics of people on different drugs a while back, has a new photo exhibit called Cum Shots, in which people cum on the faces of their sexual partners and then Sahihi snaps their pics. The series is supposed to be a critique of pornography's entrance into advertising and ... jesus freaking christ! Is nothing sacred? Does every possible sexual kink have to be turned into some societal commentary? The next time I go to the MOMA am I'm going to have to look at pictures of Catholic school girls with strap ons screwing Emmanuelle Beart as a protest against the Pope's position on women's rights? Hmm, that doesn't sound that bad after all...
(Wait, you say, what's a SanFransexual? Kristina coined the term, because she says Metrosexuals are just too fashion- and haircare-conscious. SFsexuals are guys who will put on nail polish to go out dancing but won't spend an hour worrying their hair; they'll wear dresses to bars, but they'll also fix your flat tire; they'll tell you what they're feeling, but they'll also bend you over a sawhorse.)
Anyhoo, back to my point: facials. They're degrading and kinky and, um, artistic. Or at least they are now. Ashkan Sahihi, the guy who did those pics of people on different drugs a while back, has a new photo exhibit called Cum Shots, in which people cum on the faces of their sexual partners and then Sahihi snaps their pics. The series is supposed to be a critique of pornography's entrance into advertising and ... jesus freaking christ! Is nothing sacred? Does every possible sexual kink have to be turned into some societal commentary? The next time I go to the MOMA am I'm going to have to look at pictures of Catholic school girls with strap ons screwing Emmanuelle Beart as a protest against the Pope's position on women's rights? Hmm, that doesn't sound that bad after all...
Wednesday, January 21, 2004
When Charles is the voice of reason...
...you know we're all screwed.
Commentary on the Iowa caucuses last night leaked into the NBA game on TNT. During the halftime show, the studio crew riffed on politics, and analyst Charles Barkley started talking up John Edwards -- heís even given Edwards money.
Ernie Johnson, the anchor, looked at Barkley and said: "Charles, I thought you were a Republican." (Barkley has talked about running for governor of Alabama as a Republican.)
Barkley's response: "That was before they started screwing all the poor people!"
Um, yeah, Charles, they've never screwed with poor people before.
Commentary on the Iowa caucuses last night leaked into the NBA game on TNT. During the halftime show, the studio crew riffed on politics, and analyst Charles Barkley started talking up John Edwards -- heís even given Edwards money.
Ernie Johnson, the anchor, looked at Barkley and said: "Charles, I thought you were a Republican." (Barkley has talked about running for governor of Alabama as a Republican.)
Barkley's response: "That was before they started screwing all the poor people!"
Um, yeah, Charles, they've never screwed with poor people before.
Things that should be really good but aren't #1
When women leave just a "bacon strip" of pubic hair after shaving. Even calling it a bacon strip doesn't help matters.
Some miscellaneous thoughts on music 2003
This was the year I fell for ragga or dancehall or whatever you want to call it. Rusz says I like "ragga breaks," and he should know. I hear they're huge in the Czech Republic, and since I'm 1/5th Czech -- my last name means "paralyzed by fear" or "super big schlong," depending on your dictionary -- it must be in my blood. Can trend-loving be hereditary?
I was hoping this would be the year I stopped hating Bob Marley, but having to listen to six straight hours of Legend in Thailand ruined that dream.
Gossip!
Maybe I shouldn't tell you this but the most overrated indierocker-turned-rapper in the Bay Area pulled a gun on a local reporter during an interview this year.
I was hoping this would be the year I stopped hating Bob Marley, but having to listen to six straight hours of Legend in Thailand ruined that dream.
Gossip!
Maybe I shouldn't tell you this but the most overrated indierocker-turned-rapper in the Bay Area pulled a gun on a local reporter during an interview this year.
