Monday, March 15, 2004
what 80s band are you?
This test doesn't really pay attention to anything but the last question, but try it anyway. I believe I have lips like sugar. And hair like a peacock.
You're all about the music. Not too incredibly
mainstream, but not too incredibly underground.
It's awfully hard for anyone to oppose you,
seeing as how you rule.
What band from the 80s are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
You're all about the music. Not too incredibly
mainstream, but not too incredibly underground.
It's awfully hard for anyone to oppose you,
seeing as how you rule.
What band from the 80s are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
more war metaphors than you can shake a AK-47 at
I'm going to paraphrase the beginning of Jonathan Franzen's great book, The Corrections:
"Through the carport they came, Michelle favoring her bad knee, Denise waddling rolly-polly with thick calves, both of them favoring haircuts that seemed the product of lawnmowers and long winters. To anyone who saw them motoring across the concrete of the Cow Hollow Motor Inn, it was obvious that they were New Englanders and oblivious. But to Dan S, who was waiting for them on the sidewalk, they were killers."
"They" is not quite right though. Franzen's character was referring to his parents, while I'm nodding in the direction of my mother and her partner. The partner is blameless; she is nice, she is calm, she laughs readily. My mother is the assassin. All mothers are. They carry poison and shivs and papers so sharp they can slit your throat with one swipe. Worst of all are the words that sting and burn and scald. The words that seem so innocent to bystanders, that sound innocuous and benign. Like "How are you doing?" Or "What's your girlfriend's name?" Sheer terror.
They're in town for three days before going to Hawaii and then three days after. Last night, I went in alone, with the bombs and bullets flying. The troops were weary and I had backup (beer, sweet beer), so we took few casualties. But tonight they will be fully mobilized. So I'm bringing some extra artillery -- Elka artillery.
It's always better to have ground support during these visits. I can just sit there at dinner, tossing the occasional response grenade, watching my brave fellow soldier snake through the minefields, taking on the shrapnel. My, I'll think, she sure is brave. I will be sure she gets a medal for this. I will make sure she gets the best of post-battle care. I will serve as a full MASH unit, Hawkeye and the Beej and even Hot Lips, if need be.
But no Radar. He was no smooth operator.
"Through the carport they came, Michelle favoring her bad knee, Denise waddling rolly-polly with thick calves, both of them favoring haircuts that seemed the product of lawnmowers and long winters. To anyone who saw them motoring across the concrete of the Cow Hollow Motor Inn, it was obvious that they were New Englanders and oblivious. But to Dan S, who was waiting for them on the sidewalk, they were killers."
"They" is not quite right though. Franzen's character was referring to his parents, while I'm nodding in the direction of my mother and her partner. The partner is blameless; she is nice, she is calm, she laughs readily. My mother is the assassin. All mothers are. They carry poison and shivs and papers so sharp they can slit your throat with one swipe. Worst of all are the words that sting and burn and scald. The words that seem so innocent to bystanders, that sound innocuous and benign. Like "How are you doing?" Or "What's your girlfriend's name?" Sheer terror.
They're in town for three days before going to Hawaii and then three days after. Last night, I went in alone, with the bombs and bullets flying. The troops were weary and I had backup (beer, sweet beer), so we took few casualties. But tonight they will be fully mobilized. So I'm bringing some extra artillery -- Elka artillery.
It's always better to have ground support during these visits. I can just sit there at dinner, tossing the occasional response grenade, watching my brave fellow soldier snake through the minefields, taking on the shrapnel. My, I'll think, she sure is brave. I will be sure she gets a medal for this. I will make sure she gets the best of post-battle care. I will serve as a full MASH unit, Hawkeye and the Beej and even Hot Lips, if need be.
But no Radar. He was no smooth operator.
